You’re Fired! Celebrity Apprentice’s First Ousting.

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Singer Prinnie Stevens

You have to hand it to Mark Bouris.  Asking contestants in this season of Celebrity Apprentice to arrange themselves in order of level of fame right off the get-go was inspired scripting.  When the task was given, jaws were on the ground and the ‘stunned mullet’ look was quite popular to use by most.  While there were no real claws out (the girls sorted themselves out quite appropriately), the boys team was less than classy about the situation.  Surely one would assume 80’s rocker and  Uncanny X-Men lead singer Bryan Mannix would be well before the likes of Chef Pete Everitt and stage regular Rob Mills, but no, Mannix quite happily placed himself last ‘for the good of the team’.  Ex AFL Footballer Dermott Brereton offered the same approach.

Something tells me the girls provided more balls than the boys.

It took some time but the claws did come out.  How social commentator Prue Macsween was able to walk out of the boardroom after having shreds of flesh taken off her by her fellow contestants is an amazement that will bewilder many for time to come

No one wants to be the first to be ousted on a reality show.  Be it a cooking show, singing show, talent show or a show where celebrities work to make money for charity.  Tonight’s first round outing saw The Voice contestant and singer Prinnie Stevens the first to hear the ever famous catchphrase ‘You’re Fired!’

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What a Dive: Celebrity Splash Sinks

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Divers Denise Drysdale and Nick Bracks in Celebrity Splash

Well the results are in and no amount of lifesaving will keep Channel 7’s new Celebrity Splash from sinking into never-to-be-seen again depths.

While just over 1.31 million viewers tuned in, reviews coming from the general public are less than forgiving.  Most are criticizing the stars for lowering themselves to such a level, others are annoyed with the amass of wasted space between dives.  Myself?  I was at a loss of words while watching.

The use of the word ‘celebrity‘ was most unsettling.  While contestants such as comedian and actor Josh Thomas and TV royalty Denise Drysdale may fall into that category, the rest of the cast was filled with sports stars (runner Tamsyn Lewis, cricketer Andrew Symonds and footballer Andrew Welsh) models (Nick Bracks and  Renae Ayris) and the in-betweeners (Radio host Adam Richards, Brynne Edelsten and Koby Abberton).

The smartest ‘celebrity‘ in this entire gig was Laura Csortan who ‘had to pull out due to injury’ before the first dive even began.  Smart girl.  She was quickly replaced by former Gladiator Derek Boyer who stunned everyone with a face first splash into the pool from the 10m diving board.

The most amusing thing about the show?  US diver and Splash judge Greg Louganis (looking even tanner than George Hamilton ever did) trying to act like he knew who it was he was judging.

Along side Louganis was Winter Olympian Alisa Camplin who exuded perkiness like an aging cheerleader and next to her, Aussie diver Matthew Mitchum who came off as snarky and bitchy (especially to an obviously uncomfortable Josh Thomas).

The fact alone that not only did these stars have to endure performing a dive in front of a live audience (I’m pretty sure there were more people in the stadium for Splash than there ever was for It’s a Knockout) but they also had to endure under the cuff taunts from hosts Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies as well as being judged on their efforts after only a six week crash course.

In the end, everybody on this show only have themselves to blame for the situation they have found themselves in.

Will Splash hold the same viewers as it did last night?  I doubt it.  If comments like “I will never get that time back” or “What a waste, is this what channel 7 can offer us?” are anything to go by, Splash may find itself in a watery grave very soon.

Reborn: Prisoner becomes Wentworth

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Danielle Cormack as Bea Smith in Wentworth.

Television, in the last few years, has not delivered well in the area of classic remakes.  Straight off the bat, Aaron Spelling soapie Melrose Place was rebooted by the CW network in the US back in 2009 and failed miserably.  Even with the addition of original cast members such as Laura Leighton, Josie Bissett and Heather Locklear, the show dived into a sinkhole that had no hope of survival.  Beverly Hills 90210 also received a reboot a year before by the same network and while after 5 seasons, it’s still on the air, it does not hold the same following as the original show once did.

Aussie classic Prisoner is about to get the same treatment thanks to Foxtel and the SoHo Channel in the form of Wentworth.  Prisoner was a game changer for television back in the 70’s and 80’s in how women were depicted in scripted television yet was a slightly dodgy and kitchy classic with larger than life characters and memorable one liners

By all reports, from those who have been lucky enough to see the first episode, we, the general public, are the suckers for having to wait until Wednesday to catch the pilot episode.  Gone are the dodgy cardboard sets and the over-the-top melodrama that Prisoner was known for, instead, we get a steely eyed head first decent into the hard edged world filled with hard edged women, living a life in Wentworth.

Those familiar with the original will apparently notice subtle references to the original and characters including Doreen, Lizzy, Frankie Doyle and Vera Bennett return headlined by Bea Smith played this time round by Danielle Cormack.  Along with Cormack, familiar faces including Catherine McClements and Kate Atkinson all appear.

From all accounts read, Wentworth appears to be a diamond in the rough that is not only for reborn classic television, but also for Australian drama.

Wentworth premieres this Wednesday, May 1st, on Foxtel’s SoHo Channel.