What a Dive: Celebrity Splash Sinks

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Divers Denise Drysdale and Nick Bracks in Celebrity Splash

Well the results are in and no amount of lifesaving will keep Channel 7’s new Celebrity Splash from sinking into never-to-be-seen again depths.

While just over 1.31 million viewers tuned in, reviews coming from the general public are less than forgiving.  Most are criticizing the stars for lowering themselves to such a level, others are annoyed with the amass of wasted space between dives.  Myself?  I was at a loss of words while watching.

The use of the word ‘celebrity‘ was most unsettling.  While contestants such as comedian and actor Josh Thomas and TV royalty Denise Drysdale may fall into that category, the rest of the cast was filled with sports stars (runner Tamsyn Lewis, cricketer Andrew Symonds and footballer Andrew Welsh) models (Nick Bracks and  Renae Ayris) and the in-betweeners (Radio host Adam Richards, Brynne Edelsten and Koby Abberton).

The smartest ‘celebrity‘ in this entire gig was Laura Csortan who ‘had to pull out due to injury’ before the first dive even began.  Smart girl.  She was quickly replaced by former Gladiator Derek Boyer who stunned everyone with a face first splash into the pool from the 10m diving board.

The most amusing thing about the show?  US diver and Splash judge Greg Louganis (looking even tanner than George Hamilton ever did) trying to act like he knew who it was he was judging.

Along side Louganis was Winter Olympian Alisa Camplin who exuded perkiness like an aging cheerleader and next to her, Aussie diver Matthew Mitchum who came off as snarky and bitchy (especially to an obviously uncomfortable Josh Thomas).

The fact alone that not only did these stars have to endure performing a dive in front of a live audience (I’m pretty sure there were more people in the stadium for Splash than there ever was for It’s a Knockout) but they also had to endure under the cuff taunts from hosts Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies as well as being judged on their efforts after only a six week crash course.

In the end, everybody on this show only have themselves to blame for the situation they have found themselves in.

Will Splash hold the same viewers as it did last night?  I doubt it.  If comments like “I will never get that time back” or “What a waste, is this what channel 7 can offer us?” are anything to go by, Splash may find itself in a watery grave very soon.

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