So I have to admit, I have never watched a single episode of The Bachelor Australia. Like never ever. None of the US versions when they aired here and none of the three previous seasons of our very own locally made series either. It’s not like the show has never been on my radar…The whole Blake Garvey fiasco and “Dirty Street Pies” flooded my social media timelines when they were taking place but truth be told, I have never been that interested.
That was until however I began watching the very awesome UnReal (currently streaming on STAN) which offers a rather gloomy and depressing look at the goings on behind the scenes of a show very much like The Bachelor and it got me wondering how having watched a show like UnReal would affect how I would watch a show such as The Bachelor. And luck be it, a brand new season of The Bachelor began last night.
The Bachelor himself, Richie Strahan, an orphan from the first series of The Bachelorette, is stupidly handsome and utterly charming enough for anyone to ever remember Bachelorette Sam Frost deemed other men more worthy to marry than him. Anyways, it seems as though much like myself watching for the very first time, he had no idea what was in store as leggy lady after leggy lady disembarked from their black limousine to be introduced to Richie.
It’s here I began to devise a drinking game to go with watching The Bachelor.
*Take a shot anytime Richie’s eyes dart somewhere south when talking to a potential match.
This goes along with the following…
*Take a shot anytime the camera zooms in on cleavage or side-boob.
*Take a shot anytime Eliza sings her self penned song – either to Richie, to the other women or to herself.
*Take a shot anytime a woman is seen clutching at her hip slit dress in an attempt to keep her vah-yayyay covered.
*Take a shot anytime the camera pans to Osher Gunsberg and you find yourself yelling “YOUR NAME IS ANDY G!”
*Take a shot anytime one of the girls rolls their eyes or offer up a killer resting bitch face.
*Take a shot anytime the ‘token brunette’ demands she’s different from the other girls here.
*Take a shot anytime Olena comes on screen and you begin to question your sexuality.
You get the drift but basically, anyone playing this game, i’m assuming should be hammered by about the 20 minute mark of each and every episode.
So this brings me back to UnReal. Throughout this first episode, all I could think was “God save the poor soul tasked with handling Keira”, “Is Alex, Faith or Megan the ‘wifey’ this season?”, “Is Janey the unstable one?” and other such questions that make UnReal so darned perfect to watch. As the first episode dragged on however, I actually stopped thinking about the UnReal version and what could be going on behind the scenes and found myself, much like Richie, drowning in what what going on in front of me. This sort of tag team system that was taking place as each girl goes to spend one on one time with Richie while the others watch on offering ‘if looks could kill’ glances at each other all while hoping to be the lucky recipient of not only a red rose (that according to Russian import Sasha is quite yummo to nibble on) by the end of the night but the exclusive and awe inspiring white rose.
As a first time viewer, it’s all quite bizarre and funny to watch a group of women henpeck each other over the attention of a goofy yet handsome man that may or may not profess his love to one of them but not before romancing and pashing all the ones he likes.
It’s those reasons mentioned above though that also make me understand why it’s so delicious to watch and why it get’s everyone talking.
My hot tip – Olena, Faith and Megan for the final three!
The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesdays and Thursdays 7:30pm on Network Ten.