It has been a season of highs, high drama, lows and low bank accounts for The Block 2017 and it’s contestants as the past 12 weeks have seen the five couples completely transform old, dilapidated houses into modern and spacious luxury family homes in the Melbourne suburb of Elsternwick.
With the homes transformed and the annual “open for inspection” done and dusted, there’s only two things left – auction order and the Block Auction which takes place this Saturday before airing Sunday night on channel 9 in what is expected to bring in major viewers for the network.
While the season has seen teams consisting of Josh and Elyse and Ronnie and Georgia virtually clean sweep the weekly room wins, who will win the Block auction isn’t going to be as crystal clear with viewers backing almost every team.
Jason and Sarah, who came scarily close to being booted off the show for poor fund management and failing to deliver their master suite on time have suddenly found themselves being touted as the ‘dark horse’ of the series with their end product featuring a massive wide open entry hallway, low maintenance and family friendly yard and winning stellar kitchen.
But that’s not to say the other teams consisting of first time renovators Clint and Hannah or best mates Sticks and Wombat don’t have the chance to take the win either with both teams also claiming some wins and fans along the way.
How important will the auction order be in determining who could take the win and will the decision be made drama free? Most are expecting Ronnie and Georgia to put up a strong fight for their auction placement preference with the experienced team being very vocal about their understanding of The Block being a ‘competition to win and not make friends’ and as seen in last years series which (as per the norm) saw the teams unable to compromise and determine their own auction order, host Scott Cam had to step in with a suggestion for fiery couple Julia and Sasha to take up the first auction only for them to blatantly refuse because their agent recommended going second.
The team that eventually went first – Will and Karlie were also the team to take out the win for that series.
The Block goes to auction in the series finale this Sunday from 7pm on Channel 9
In an aimless attempt to tap into the “Real Housewives of…” market, Channel 7 has incredulously decided to drag viewing audiences to their network with their own unscripted version titled “Yummy Mummies” premiering Sunday night at 9pm.
Yummy Mummies assaults viewers with their bland and tedious lives of four soon-to-be-mums who live their days through their “MelbourneYumMums” Instagram page, drinking mocktails at lunch and doing a lot of shopping for designer maternity wear while contemplating how “everyday pregnant women let themselves go during pregnancy”.
At first glimpse, there’s not much substance to the three Melbourne based nearly mums. While they seem like a lot of fun, there’s no talk of maternity leave or any sign these women have some form of a career outside of going to lunch and when it comes to finances, there’s no shame shown when talking about how the hubby will happily pay for a $99,000 “push present” aka a rare diamond ring.
Yummy Mummy number one is Lorinska, an AFL WAG, married to former Carlton player Andrew Merrington and is a behemoth of a woman who towers above the other two nearly mums. At 33 weeks pregnant, Lorinska has a very valid fear of breastfeeding her soon to be off-spring after a humiliating and traumatic cow-teet-to-the-face moment in her childhood. Lorinska is also the only “yummy mummy” not afraid to look a little more casual during some of her cut screen commentaries.
Yummy Mummy number two is Rachel, a…..well not much is offered on Rachel except she’s a) heavily pregnant, b) gives great Carrie Bradshaw face, c) is the only “yummy mummy” who doesn’t look like a chupa chup who swallowed it’s chupa chup and d) likes to scare breast feeding phobic nearly mums with tales of alien-esque post birth scenarios.
Yummy Mummy number three is Jane, a model who’s married to South Yarra hairdresser Joey Scandizzo and is the only “yummy mummy” to actually be on her second pregnancy. It’s hard to hate on Jane because she’s very pretty, rocks a posh yet bogan twang and reminds me way to much of Karen Smith from Mean Girls.
While we are being introduced to the Melbourne gang, we are also invited to meet “Yummy Mummy” Maria from Adelaide along with her mum Patsy Stone Margherita (this show’s true and not-so-secret secret star) and her younger sister Bianca who seems like Kendall Jenner before Kendall Jenner became Kendall Jenner.
Maria is many months pregnant (I can’t for the life of me remember how far along she is or if it’s even mentioned – actually I don’t really care) and has already mapped out her unborn daughters life up-to the age where she’ll be resented for the rest of her life. From Burberry to Versace, as long as it’s branded and cost more than my annual wage, then Maria has bought it for her unborn child.
Maria is all about style over substance, she’s branded her partner with her name in ink and believes breast feeding in public is or should be illegal and is not a fan of counter-fake (yes, her words) handbags.
Maria is also the reason why the Melbourne based “Yummy Mummies” end up in Radeliade – to attend her uber tacky and garishly over the top Burberry-come-Versace themed baby shower as Maria, it seems has no friends and needs to invite three total strangers to this event in an attempt to show off and feel good about her vapid life.
Bridezilla’s are a thing of the past with Mumzilla Maria throwing tantrum after tantrum in regards to planning her most glamorous ever baby shower. From the size of the event room to ordering a big enough balloon arch, the theme of the baby shower to present table size, nothing is off limits in tantrum town.
There is one saving grace in this abhorrent show however – event planner Jess –
Jess is literally the ‘everyday person’s hero’ as she keeps composure through the stream of outrageous demands Maria vomits up in a single meeting. There’s not a single raised eyebrow and no glaringly forced smile as Jess has a reasonable solution for every demand.
Yummy Mummies really is truly terrible television. There’s no beating around the bush – it’s shit – but, it’s shit television that makes for twitter and social commentary gold and the fact that we still don’t make it to an actual baby shower by the end of this first episode will keep many shocked eyes on the following episode.
Yummy Mummies begins, Sunday night on Channel 7 at 9pm right after the House Rules finale…..
Even though the trailer for Wyrmwood: Chronicles of the Dead dropped in mid May, with thanks to the wonders of social media, it has only just now made its way to me and this 6-odd minute trailer is so intense, insane, erratic, gory and in-your-bloody-face, I immediately had to know more.
First off though, check out the *teaser* trailer which is very NSFW!
Wyrmwood: Chronicles of the Dead comes off the back of an indie 2014/15 Aussie movie Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead by director Kiah Rouche-Turner. It’s a sort of Fury Road meets Resident Evil meets The Girl with all the Gifts kind ofmovie that follows a mechanic named Barry (Jay Gallagher) who is trying to find his kidnapped sister Brooke (Bianca Bradey) as the world is falling to pieces amid a massive zombie apocalypse.
The film itself received generally positive reviews and feedback and upon it’s limited US release found itself at the mercy of online piracy where it topped illegal downloading charts.
Jump to 2017, Chronicles of the dead series will pick up from where Road of the Dead leaves off with a 10 episode series filled with over-the-top carnage, explosions and oh so many zombies!
While there is no further information about release date or where the series will be hosted, you can keep up-to-date with it all via their twitter and Facebook pages.
Another season of the fantastic Wentworth is almost upon us which means it’s time for that annual “Wentworth Endgame Suspicions” that I have been doing for the past few seasons.
Season five took Wentworth into new territory by confirming the death of Bea Smith (Danielle Cormack) and bringing fan favorite Fanky Doyle (Nicole da Silva) back behind bars while we also said goodbye to Maxine (Socratis Otto) who left for cancer treatment Juice (Sally-Anne Upton) who copped the unkindest cut of all and Doreen (Shareena Clanton) who finally made parole.
The battle for Top Dog status saw Kaz (Tammy Macintosh) loose out to Ferguson only for her to be stripped of the title when all her past murderous indiscretions come to light while Jake’s (Bernard Curry) troubled dealings were finally revealed to Vera (Kate Atkinson) but her dealings with allowing Bea to escape at last seasons end be held against her from taking action against him.
So here we go, my eight season five end game suspicions and as per the norm, none of this is confirmed! – POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THOSE NOT UP-TO-DATE!
1: Franky and Allie make their escape /// Franky’s bid for freedom has, this season, hinged on her need to escape and find the evidence to prove she did not kill Mike Pennisi (Felix Williamson). Along the way, she has managed to bring Allie into the plan but with the revelation that Iman (Zahra Newman) was not only his killer, but his lover too, Franky’s bid to escape is more dire than ever.
Franky and Allie make their escape plan but only one makes it outside the walls of Wentworth.
2: Sonia steps up for ‘top dog’ status /// She’s garnered the praise of her fellow inmates with the Green Wall Project, has managed to get Boomer (Katrina Milosevic) on total trust levels and is not partial to a bit of causal murder.
With the status of ‘Top Dog’ currently vacant, Sonia (Sigrid Thornton) will take the opportunity to nab the position with the full backing of the inmates.
3: Liz winds up all alone inside Wentworth /// After her meeting with an investigator into her perjury and mistrial, Liz (Celia Ireland) discovers that Kaplan (Steve Bastoni) and Sonia had in-fact targeted her all along to be ‘witness X’ in Sonia’s murder trial.
With Bea dead, Doreen and Maxine both gone, Boomer struggling to contain her wrath at Liz’s ‘lagging’ and Sonia out for revenge, Liz suddenly finds herself without any support within Wentworth but she has the knowledge that Sonia set her up from the get-go, but what will she do with that information?
4: Kaz and Allie team up against Ferguson /// A strong champion of a violence free prison, Kaz has often resorted to the use words as her weapon of choice, a move that earned her ‘top dog’ status but also saw it as the reason for it being taken from her. Allie is still desperate for revenge against the woman who murdered her one true love.
With Ferguson surviving her surprise lynch mob hanging and the fear of retribution, Kaz will abandon her no violence stance to team up with Allie in an attempt to take Ferguson out once and for all.
5: Ferguson makes a plan to escape /// With thanks to Vera, she survived the hanging from the inmates but now Ferguson finds herself vulnerable prey and with no protection from acting governor Channing (Martin Sacks).
Getting wind of Franky and Allie’s escape plan, Ferguson uses Jake to help her with her own plan to get out that involves revealing Franky and Allie’s plans to the guards and using the ensuing fracas to make her escape with Jake and his swipe card. But will she make it out?
6: Vera sets her sights on Channing and Jake /// Stripped of her role of governor (thanks to Channing), Vera finds herself in precarious waters struggling to maintain a grip on her life which has become even harder after discovering her entire relationship with Jake was a fabrication created by Ferguson to bring her down.
While Jake knows Vera was the one who allowed Bea to escape in season four’s finale, Vera will take aim at bringing him down along with Channing so as to reclaim her role as Governor.
7: New inmates arrive to shake things up /// There were some major cast adjustments this season with Bea Smith, Maxine, Iman, Juice and Doreen all leaving Wentworth, leaving it a lot emptier than it has ever been.
New inmates will arrive to Wentworth to fill those empty beds but will any of them bring a familiar face to some of the current inmates?
8: Bea Smith returns to Wentworth /// It’s been a suspicion all season long that Bea did not die at the hands on Ferguson but was gravely injured and put into protective custody for her own safety. Could the season five finale reveal this to be true and bring Bea back into Wentworth?
The move could be the driving force for season six with Allie beginning to show feelings for Franky, Ferguson now at her weakest and the position of top dog up for grabs.
So there we have it! From escape plans to attempts to reclaim the throne to a surprise return, these are my season 5 endgame suspicions. Agree, disagree or have I missed something? Sound off in the comments!
It’s a risky move for a television show with such a staunch world wide fan base to kill off one of its main characters in an attempt to shake things up and introduce fresh blood and fresh stories yet oddly enough, despite the hark from fans claiming they’ll never watch again, the bold move usually works. Homeland, House of Cards, Grey’s Anatomy, M*A*S*H and 24 are just some of success stories where killing off main cast have worked in their favor.
Wentworth, is the most recent entry into this world with the murder of main player Bea Smith (Danielle Cormack) at the end of the shows fourth season and questions quickly began to flit about how this show could survive without the driving force that Wentworth sprouted itself from.
The tour de force that was Bea Smith and the story around her propelled the show from a generic Prisoner remake into a modern day drama-come-love-story with an incredibly dedicated fan base, devastated their “Queen Bea” had been mercilessly slaughtered at the hands of series villain Joan “The Freak” Ferguson (Pamela Rabe) leaving her girlfriend Allie Novak (Kate Jenkinson) to pick up the pieces and exact her revenge.
This death, so surprising and utterly shocking, risked putting Wentworth fans off-side with the belief the showwas supposed to be a telling of Bea’s entrance into prison and her rise to ‘top dog’ status and while, in point, we did get that tale, the killing off of a main character is still none the less a gusty move for any show.
What we didn’t notice however was the growing importance and build-up of the other characters within the show, each getting story lines that played quietly along the Bea Smith/Joan Ferguson/Allie Novak main story arc, all ready to take effect when the time was needed.
These stories involving Vera’s (Kate Atkinson) battle to maintain control of her governor position, Franky Doyle (Nicole da Silva) struggling to develop a healthy life outside of the Wentworth with girlfriend Bridget Westfall (Libby Tanner), the buddy buddy snitch snitch relationship between Sonia Stevens (Sigrid Thornton) and Liz Birdsworth (Celia Ireland) and current top dog Kaz Proctor (Tammy MacIntosh) feeling her grip loosen on her top dog status were all slowly bubbling along and came to flourish and hit the ground with both guns blazing when the time was right.
This move not only forced us to move on after Bea’s death but implemented a newer relationship with these characters on the back of strong writing and even stronger acting from the cast, allowing the show to thrive in a time of viewer devastation. The fact that this death wasn’t used as a way to end an ugly love triangle or to move on a story arc that just wan’t working is even more testament to the writing on the show.
Bea’s death was personal but it was also a propeller, not just for the show but for each an every character within the world of Wentworth. Killing off a Queen Bea can be dangerous but when done right, breathes new life into an already fascinating and intense show.
Wentworth continues Tuesday nights on Showcase and will see production begin this month on season six.
Successful and good quiz shows featuring celebrity panelists comes down to three defining factors. 1: A smart yet funny quiz show offering up great questions. 2: A great selection of celebs that not only get into the game but are also good sports. 3: A good host that can interact well with those celebs appearing on said show. The Big Music Quiz hits two of those three points and without the third, it painfully shows.
The premise is pretty simple, two teams of semi well known faces show off their music knowledge over six rounds of questions….all of which are of course musical based with the loosing team forced into humiliation by ending out the show with a dance off.
The selection of celebrities in the shows first outing range from Screaming Jets front man Dave Gleeson to model Kris Smith to Winners and Losers star Melanie Vallejo and over the coming episodes includes Rebel Wilson, Ada Nicodemou and Kate Ceberano.
The big miss with The Big Music Quiz is in host Darren McMullen – he of former The Voice Australia host and House Husbands actor – does not mesh well with either the celebrity guests or the show in general. I hate to say it as I like McMullen but the quick wit required to host these type of shows is missed completely by him as he manages to miss any and all opportunities for zingy comebacks…even when presented to him on a silver platter.
For example, in the first round of the first episode, contestants are given a short 20 seconds to identify the artist of a well known song, model Kris Smith says “I remember 20 seconds being a lot longer than that!” McMullen laughs and moves right onto a score check. Heck, even guest Laurence Mooney (probably ascertaining the lack of hosting ability) attempts to have a decent crack at poking some tongue in cheek comments.
It’s a hosting gig perfect for someone like Paul McDermott or even say Hamish Blake who have a proven track record with this kind of thing.
The big Music Quiz is just that…a big music based quiz show, a flashier version of Spicks and Specks and of the first episode available for preview, it’s without the witty banter between host and celebrities that make those shows even more watchable. Good news is that The Big Music Quiz is not a lost cause thanks to its host. The mix of fun rounds, easy to moderately tough questions and great selection of celeb guests pick up the slack.
If there is anything 7 could take away from The Big Music Quiz it’d be to cast a wider net when looking for a host and look into viewer interaction via an app or website. A show like this would work perfectly with at home viewers so they can watch and play along at the same time on a second screen device.
The Big Music Quiz starts soon on Channel 7 (possibly Sunday August 28th)
So I have to admit, I have never watched a single episode of The Bachelor Australia. Like never ever. None of the US versions when they aired here and none of the three previous seasons of our very own locally made series either. It’s not like the show has never been on my radar…The whole Blake Garvey fiasco and “Dirty Street Pies” flooded my social media timelines when they were taking place but truth be told, I have never been that interested.
That was until however I began watching the very awesome UnReal (currently streaming on STAN) which offers a rather gloomy and depressing look at the goings on behind the scenes of a show very much like The Bachelor and it got me wondering how having watched a show like UnReal would affect how I would watch a show such as The Bachelor. And luck be it, a brand new season of The Bachelor began last night.
The Bachelor himself, Richie Strahan, an orphan from the first series of The Bachelorette, is stupidly handsome and utterly charming enough for anyone to ever remember Bachelorette Sam Frost deemed other men more worthy to marry than him. Anyways, it seems as though much like myself watching for the very first time, he had no idea what was in store as leggy lady after leggy lady disembarked from their black limousine to be introduced to Richie.
It’s here I began to devise a drinking game to go with watching The Bachelor.
*Take a shot anytime Richie’s eyes dart somewhere south when talking to a potential match.
This goes along with the following…
*Take a shot anytime the camera zooms in on cleavage or side-boob.
*Take a shot anytime Eliza sings her self penned song – either to Richie, to the other women or to herself.
*Take a shot anytime a woman is seen clutching at her hip slit dress in an attempt to keep her vah-yayyay covered.
*Take a shot anytime the camera pans to Osher Gunsberg and you find yourself yelling “YOUR NAME IS ANDY G!”
*Take a shot anytime one of the girls rolls their eyes or offer up a killer resting bitch face.
*Take a shot anytime the ‘token brunette’ demands she’s different from the other girls here.
*Take a shot anytime Olena comes on screen and you begin to question your sexuality.
You get the drift but basically, anyone playing this game, i’m assuming should be hammered by about the 20 minute mark of each and every episode.
So this brings me back to UnReal. Throughout this first episode, all I could think was “God save the poor soul tasked with handling Keira”, “Is Alex, Faith or Megan the ‘wifey’ this season?”, “Is Janey the unstable one?” and other such questions that make UnReal so darned perfect to watch. As the first episode dragged on however, I actually stopped thinking about the UnReal version and what could be going on behind the scenes and found myself, much like Richie, drowning in what what going on in front of me. This sort of tag team system that was taking place as each girl goes to spend one on one time with Richie while the others watch on offering ‘if looks could kill’ glances at each other all while hoping to be the lucky recipient of not only a red rose (that according to Russian import Sasha is quite yummo to nibble on) by the end of the night but the exclusive and awe inspiring white rose.
As a first time viewer, it’s all quite bizarre and funny to watch a group of women henpeck each other over the attention of a goofy yet handsome man that may or may not profess his love to one of them but not before romancing and pashing all the ones he likes.
It’s those reasons mentioned above though that also make me understand why it’s so delicious to watch and why it get’s everyone talking.
My hot tip – Olena, Faith and Megan for the final three!
The Bachelor Australia airs Wednesdays and Thursdays 7:30pm on Network Ten.
Why is everyone so shocked?! I mean really come on, this is Wentworth people! The team creating this show have always set the bar high for compelling television and continue to raise that bar with each and every season finale!
My last post, I offered up some season 4 end game theories which came off from not having previewed the episode but from reading what Wentworth had offered up during the season. My score card? Not the greatest…i’m giving myself a 3.5 out of 8….so not even 50% but let’s look back at that finale and how my I went in my predictions.
SPOILERS BELOW!! Do not continue if you have NOT watched the season 4 finale!
1: Ferguson Becomes a Free Woman (sort of right) /// I was partially right on this one! Joan did in fact find freedom after raking in Jake (Bernard Curry) to kill star witness Nils Jesper (Tony Nikolakopoulos). It was a bold move on Ferguson’s behalf but that final scene proved that her freedom will be certainly short lived.
2: Sonia reveals her true freak (right) /// Sonia (Sigrid Thornton) kept us guessing for most of the season as to her guilt or innocence and as I called it, we would discover that Sonia in fact is a cold hearted murderer but in the way we found out was nothing short of chilling. After a meeting with Det. Don Kaplan (Steve Bastoni) Liz (Celia Ireland) discovers that the body of Sonia’s missing friend had been found with a shaved head. It was an odd mention to reveal and after seeing Sonia’s devastated response to her friends death, Liz believed Sonia to be innocent. It’s not until Sonia offers to be the one to shave Maxine’s head as she goes through chemotherapy that Sonia, so calm and gentle mind you, mentions the power one has when shaving someone’s head and that it’s a symbol of rebirth. It’s the first reveal of Sonia’s inner freak that Liz or us viewers have ever seen.
3: There Will be no Top Dog (wrong) /// Karen (Tammy Macintosh) says early on in this final episode that she doesn’t want the job…”let someone else take charge”. It’s after a brutal fight between herself and Bea in which Bea believed Kaz to be the one to give Allie (Kate Jenkison) a ‘hot shot’ that she overdosed on. It’s not until she’s ‘drafted’ by the other imates that she accepts the job of prison top dog.
4: Boomer Does not Fall Pregnant (right) /// It was only a short scene, a very quiet mention in which Boomer (Katrina Milosevic) reveals to Liz that the pregnancy didn’t take. While only a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it scene, it was another touching moment for Booms this season.
5: Vera Will Discover Jake’s Past Offences (wrong) /// Jake managed to not only keep his secrets hidden from Vera, he left his co-worker Will Jackson (Robbie Magasiva) exposed as he kept his tracks hidden when Vera (Kate Atkinson) demanded an officer wide drug test to try and find who helped smuggle the drugs in that somehow ended up in Allie’s veins.
6: An Inmate Will Die (sort of wrong) /// To be clear, Allie woke up from her coma and Bea…well they can’t kill Bea right?! Wentworth played a sneaky game on us by making us believe Allie would not wake from her induced coma thanks to the overdose provided to her by Joan. In the meantime, we all believed that Bea would finally get her final revenge on Joan for those actions but when the tables turned on Bea, she, like us, all believed there was no hope for Allie and literally surrendered herself to the brutality of a stabbing with a screwdriver.
7:Doreen’s Sentence is Extended/Reduced (sort of right) /// While there was no mention of Doreen’s (Shareena Clanton) current sentence being altered, it was revealed she “doesn’t have that much time left” and that it should play well for her if she were to request a transfer to Perth where Nash (Luke McKenzie) is currently holed up with their son Joshua. There wasn’t much more for Doreen this episode but it looks like this decision will play heavily into her story line for season 5.
8: Franky Distances Herself from Wentworth (wrong) /// Can I just say though, was I the only one thinking the worst when Franky (Nicole da Silva) put the gun she took from Shayne (Hunter Page-Lochard) into her pants outside the court where Joan’s trial was taking place?! While that scene decided to go no where, it seems like Franky has no desire to remove herself from the ladies inside Wentworth and that was shown in a touching scene between herself and Bea in the visitors room where the two talked love and life.
So there you have it. Another wonderful season, another spine tingling season finale! Will Bea survive her attack? Will Allie make a full recovery? What will happen to Ferguson? Will Jake keep his secrets close? Will Doreen make the transfer to Perth? Will Franky and Bridget live happily ever after? Sound off in the comments above!
Mark your diaries people – Wentworth’s fourth season premiere has finally been announced and it’s coming to SoHo on Tuesday, May 10th! I’ll just start with the reveal trailer….
Season four will see Bea and the inmates return to Cell Block H after the destructive fire that tore through the prison in the third season finale but not all is as it seems with another inmate looking to take Bea’s top dog position within the jail. There’s also a confirmation that Frankie Doyle (Nicole da Silva) and Bridget Westfall (Libby Tanner) will be back with Frankie now free from Wentworth trying to adjust to life outside the walls of Wentworth and ‘the freak’ aka Joan Ferguson is still around, albeit spending some time wrapped cozily in a stylish white jacket!
New faces to this season includes Sigrid Thornton as Sonia Stevens, a wealthy cosmetics entrepreneur, recent entrant into Wentworth and murder suspect. Bernard Curry as Corrections Officer Jake Stewart and Kate Jenkinson as another new inmate Allie Novak.
So once again, remember, Season four begins Tuesday, May 10th on the SoHo channel on Foxtel!
That’s it. Nothing more and nothing less. Not even an exact date in May!!! As we’re now in mid March, this is the longest we’ve ever had to wait for any information on the upcoming season of Wentworth (bypassing the new cast members) and this snippet is sure not to be the last before the May premiere date.
So now it’s a waiting game as SoHo relentlessly tease us with these meager flecks of information!
Are you excited for the new season of Wentworth?! Sound off in the comments above!