Category Archives: MKR

Rabbits, Snails and Paint Brushes Oh My!

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WA’s Chloe and Kelly failed miserably in their instant kitchen.

So this was the episode all MKR fans had been waiting for.  After being hung, drawn and quartered on all platforms of social media, it was now time for the villains of the series, Perth’s Kelly and Chloe, to put their cooking skills to the test, not only for the other contestants, but for everyone at home watching too.

It didn’t take long for the wheels (or pretentious smirks) to fall off the duo’s faces.  Their aims of perfect 10’s throughout their entire meal was quickly destroyed when their entrée of ‘three cheeses’ was destroyed by the judges.

Wait, back up a minute….. trio of cheeses?

Chloe doesn’t like cheese right?  Or was it Kelly?  I don’t know.  At times, these two tend to blend into one big ball of unpleasantness.

Well apparently Chloe or Kelly cooked this dish a lot for her friends three year old and the kid loves it.  Three year old also eat play-doh so I doubt they’d be the best judge.

Follow that up with a main including Bambi’s Thumper and Mr. Squiggle’s Gus the Snail and you’ve got a dish that’s put off most of the table even before it’s served.

Best Dish of The Night: Chloe’s face when Pete ripped into her about the disaster that was her entrée.  So convinced she was of the awesomeness of it, her reaction to Pete’s remarks saw her jaw literally unhinge and hit the floor with an almighty thud. Something similar to this…

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The Food Overall: Certainly was more eyebrow raising than a few of the previous offerings (There’s a Deb reference in there but there’s just too many to choose from).  Trio of cheeses, rabbits, snails (to which I’m certain made Kelly vom in her mouth when throwing them into the paella) – the main had the word peasant in it for crying out loud. Then again, Kelly decided to add sliced white bread to layer under one of the cheese offerings so peasant might just be appropriate.  Desert however caused the most controversy.  We all knew it as soon as they picked up the frozen puff pastry and casually threw it into their trolley claiming “They can’t expect us to make our own puff pastry”.

Turns out everyone was expecting them to make their own puff pastry.

The Final Result:  Well after Manu called the pastry “Cardboard” and “virtually inedible” it was pretty certain it was going to be down to Andrew and Emelia and these two, to decide the bottom spot on the ladder.  All it came down to was Manu’s score for the desert.  2 points a loss, 3 a draw, 4 a win.  Clearly after Manu called the desert inedible, it couldn’t be higher than Pete’s score of 2 could it?  Surely not.

What’s that Manu?  The producers whispered in your ear…something about a score of 4 right?  It’s the only logical explanation as to how they remained in the competition.  Try as you might, we all know by now when we’re being played.  I, for one, calling dodgy.

Next Up: New teams.  Round two.  I’ve decided I don’t like any of them already.  I did this last season and changed my tune quickly.

For now, i’ll leave you with the following image which pretty much sums up my thought’s on Manu’s final score for the night.

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Now, The Block is somewhat less controversial than MKR at the moment.  There’s no team acting out.  No tanties thrown.  No sign of bad sportsmanship.  Well, for now.  The teams have just been told they have 24 hours to hand up the entire drafted plans for the entire build so we’ll see how long that lasts for.

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But let’s not jump too far ahead.  This was discovered late in the episode.  Earlier on, my theory that Steve was really only on the show as per Chantelle’s wishes (or, just along for the ride) seemed to be coming closer to being proven correct.  Happy now a builder is on board (Super Luke) Steve can now plod along with Chantelle taking part in all the shopping fun.  Even Keith picked up on this and suggested nicely that maybe he picks up a hammer or some other tool like object – once in a while.

Keith informs the twins their floors needed to be raised.  It’s here we get our first “If they keep screwing with us, them I’m walking” quote of the season.  I’m pretty sure there’s at least five more of those to come.

Oh, and everyone makes fun of Steve and Chantelle’s barn door hand made by Super Luke.  I actually like it.  If the wooden theme is continued tastefully throughout the apartment, then the door will look amazing.  By the way he was talking, I’m thinking Super Luke and Chantelle should have made up the team.  He’s making more decisions on the design and layout than Steve is.

Next Up:  Looks like Steve found where the drills are kept and then decides to go head to head with the Keithinator about the plans. My advice…go slow and start with the drill working your way up to a confrontation with Keith.  it’s safer for everybody.

Champagne Showers and Tradie Woes

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SA’s Deb and Rick sit safely on the leaderboard after their instant kitchen

Had things gone to plan for Deb and Rick’s instant kitchen, the married duo from SA would have nabbed perfect 10’s, taken top spot on the leader board and Manu would be hog-tied in the basement.  Well, there were no 10’s, no top spot and as far as I know, Manu is safe and sound speaking French and eating delicious French food while wearing a kicky beret.

In the kitchen, the well hyped Naughty Nana Deb, ended up being a seriously Frazzled Nana in the kitchen.  Too much mustard dressing on the entrée, over thinking the main and under-cooking the first batch of cake for the desert. Good thing super Rick was there to save the day.

Best Dish of the Night: Vikki’s champagne pouring skills.  It’s clear the VIC twin has not been fortunate enough to travel to exotic places like Chloe and Kelly, where champagne flows freely (and is well poured).  The amount of head that ended up in each glass resulted in a terrible froth vs bubbly ratio and i’m pretty sure Vikki had been swigging from the bottle as she must have thought Kelly was an empty glass and proceeded to spill champagne all over her.

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The Food Overall: Very home-style, family cooking.  Once again, there was nothing really complicated (though I couldn’t cook trout to save myself) and if you’re going to offer a trifle for desert, naming it after yourself should mean there is something unique about it – say maybe an eyebrow pencil in each glass?

The Final Result: Well Deb offered up a glimpse of her painted naked body to Manu – so she’s on a win for the night. Kelly ended up with a dress soaked in champagne – so we got a win too.  Most scores were pretty mid-range.  Think the two hour wait for Deb’s trifle resulted in some points being taken off.  Our saucy Nana and her savior hubby will safely continue on to the next round.

Next Up: Hopefully the ‘well traveled friends’ Chloe and Kelly are taking everyone to some glorious and fantastic location just so they can share some of the sights and tastes they have experienced in their privileged lives.  Oh, and there’s a cheating scandal too.  Shock horror!

Dale and Brad talk building options on The Block
Dale and Brad talk building options on The Block

As much as I [bagged] her out in my open letter, I really do feel for Chantelle and husband Steve.  This whole builder situation is even beginning to make me feel uneasy for them.  I could imagine nothing more worse than being two days in and still not have a builder secured for the job.

They had a builder, then they didn’t, then they had two and then they had none…oh and no plans either.  Seems builder number one went bye bye, not only with his chippie and sparky but also with the plans drawn up for the apartment.  Makes me wonder about these builders who first agree to do work with contestants and then back out.  It’s not like it’s some big surprise there’s going to be a crap load of work involved and a camera crew in your face.

But Chantelle and Steve aren’t the only one with tradie issues.  While Kyal and Kara seem pretty set to bang on without a builder (for now) they are in need of a sparky and when one arrives, this is what turns up…

The Mullet!
The Mullet!

I think Kara’s face said everything that we were all wanting to say.

I’m also noticing a lot more focus on the fan teams over the favorites.  I can’t really remember much about the boys and what they did and the girls…their plans for a floating staircase leading up to a floating office were ruined by Foreman Keith.  Something about lower beams and supports…sometimes all the building talk get’s too complicated for me.

Tuesday night’s episode is all about a shock surprise which puts all the contestants under a lot of stress.  We already know it’s the requirement of having the entire plans drafted within 24 hours.  I do think the editing department of the show really need to sit down and take a proper look at just what they’re showing us in future previews.

No City Views and Semolina Cake

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Team Favourites have their room critiqued.

So were we surprised who was the design replication challenge?  Well considering the editing department chose to show the twins Alisa and Lysandra taking note about ‘not having an apartment with city views…again’ in the Thursday night promo, I guess no one was really at all shocked to find out the Fans won the design replication challenge.

*The most interesting thing to happen in the first 10 minutes – Darren Palmer karate chopping a designer cushion and offering it up as professional styling (after an added side poke).

*I did like Dale’s interpretation of their brick wallpaper (which Clueless fans would automatically call a ‘Monet’) – Great from afar but horrible close-up.

*Thankfully, Chantelle’s very much talked about bright yellow Winnie The Pooh cushion was no where to be seen in the final result – or even mentioned at all. Funnily enough, I did happen to catch Kyal walking away with it when talking with Steve about the placement of a side table.

*Steve’s over-sized hipster beanie is now on par with Dale’s neck tattoo and face hair in terms of my level of hate.

*The use of “chim chineney chim chim cha-roo” while Steve was talking about his chimney cleaning job – Genius

So once again, the twins end up with the least desirable apartment to make over.  Can they make it two for two?  If they keep thinking their roof filled view from the rooftop entertaining area is “like the English countryside” then I’d say no….unless the English Countryside looks like Birmingham.

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Well well well.  Didn’t these twins from Victoria just blow everyone out of the water with their instant kitchen, and by everyone, I mean Chloe and Kelly!  Fair to say, I doubt most would have expected much from the two, and they didn’t really get off to the best start.

Trying to find Hapuku (which sounds like a noise a street fighter character would make) left them running late, and it seemed they spent as much time getting ready as they did prepping the entree, but, these girls, scored three 10′s – oh and also managed to wipe any smirks Kelly and Chloe were sporting.  Seriously, someone needs to make a stack of gif’s of Kelly from tonight’s episode.

Best Dish of the Night?  The big hot bowl of ‘kiss my ass’ soup served to Chloe and Kelly.  The girls were ready for the VIC twins to fail and were ready to pounce on any slight mistake there was on the food.  Then they go and score the girls an 8 for their menu.

The Food Overall?  Didn’t seem too complex.  It was no de-boned quail and the entree was basically fish taco’s and Semolina cake sounds like some sort of medieval virus, but apparently tastes amazing.

The Final Result?  Kelly and Chloe scampered away with their tails between their legs.  Helena and Vikki celebrate by nabbing not only top spot on the leader-board but also equaling the highest ever instant restaurant score given on MKR.  So if according to Helena, they (the twins) have half a brain each, and scored three 10′s, I’m left wondering just how much brain Andrew and Emelia are sharing?

Next Up?  We’re off to South Australia where Deb gets her painted knockers out for Manu and hopefully rips out a rendition of ‘The Rose’ while sporting Bette Middler’s nose prosthetic used in Hocus Pocus and whipping up a batch of Deb Instant Mashed Potato.

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Gee That’s Swell! MKR Mini Recap

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QLD Surfer Dads Paul & Blair Nab a Perfect 10

 

Continuing on with the ‘word of the day’ theme on MKR, last’s nights word was ‘swell’.  From the name of the instant restaurant to the quality of the food (well mainly the entree) to even Pete Evans throwing in a ‘swell’ reference to the QLD surfer dads entree.

The best dish of the night?  Easily Deb from SA.  Seems you get a few chardy’s into her and she turns into a highly sexual saucy minx who spent most of the night not only undressing Manu with her eyes but freely telling him so also. Her “Well, there was enough sauce for me, but I doubt there was enough for you” to Manu certainly made everyone turn the shade of a bloody beetroot.

The food overall?  Not too sure.  They speed at which NSW’s Jason inhaled his entree, main and especially the overtly rich desert, can only lead me to believe it was palatable (yet they – Annie and Jason – only delivered a score of 6)

The final result?  Seems Paul and Blair did well enough to secure themselves a spot in the second round.  They nabbed the first perfect 10 for their entree and set the mood for the night by offering up a range of local brewed beers and wines for everyone to down.

Next Up?  The first of the all female teams, twins Helena and Vikki from Victoria.  From the looks of it, there’ll be more spice and fire at the table than in the kitchen.

MKR returns Sunday night, 6:30pm on Channel 7.

Disaster in the Kitchen and The Block’s Terrible Mistake

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QLD couple Pascale and Chris

 

Well well well.  Is it just me or did The Block make a terrible error in pairing up it’s competing couples for the elimination rounds?  Clearly this was seen to be true after last night’s second round eliminations after QLD’s Pascale and Chris and VIC’s Chantelle and Steve finished their New York Loft styled rooms.

When compared to round one where QLD’s Jesse and Kenny lost to NSW’s Kyal and Kara, last night’s two reveal rooms were….well, the were meh.  Empty, boring and no imagination – to put it nicely.  And what blows my mind even more is that Pascale admitted to only using half of her $10,000 budget to finish the room!  While Chantelle and Steve easily beat out the QLD couple, had Jesse and Kenny been pitted against any of the two couples from last night, they would have made it through to the show – rightfully so.

I guess nothing can be done about it now, but yeah…a very bad decision there on whomever picked out the competing couples.

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Andrew and Emelia were not so awesome in the kitchen.

If show one’s word of the night was ‘Labne’ then last nights second outing of MKR showed that the word of the night was clearly ‘Awesome’ but not awesome is a positive way…well not for Andrew and Emelia.  They completely bombed in the kitchen last night, only able to just score above half of what Annie and Jason totaled on night one.

Is it possible that Andrew has some form of ADHD but has never been told he has it?  The guy gets completely trodden on by the judges for his main meal of ‘gourmet gumbo’ (two words never to be used together again!) then pops back into the kitchen only to break out a bad rendition of Devo’s ‘Whip It’ while completely curdling three batches of kirsch cream.

The only positive thing to note from the couples effort last night was their ability to take spotlight away from those nasty traveler girls Kelly and Chloe.  See, today, it was all about how much of a disaster Andrew was in the kitchen and not how bitchy Kelly and Chloe were.

 

Cooking for Bitches and New York Style Lofts.

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Kyal and Kara will enter The Block Fans vs Favorites Season. © 2014 Nine Entertainment Co.

So it was an all new season of Channel 9’s The Block versus and all new season of Channel 7’s My Kitchen Rules last night and judging how twitter went last night, I think most people had the same idea as myself – Watch MKR and tape The Block as MKR easily raked it in last night with well over 1.6 million viewers compared to The Blocks 1.14 Million (It was even beaten by the return of Home and Away) but i’m assuming when The Block moves on from elimination rounds and into the real game, the ratings will alter.

Let’s talk The Block.  It’s a Fans vs Favorites season and we already know the hipster glasses wearing copper twins Alyssa and Lysandra are back for another round, this time along with the familiar faces of Brad and Dale (and Dales new hiddeous neck tattoo and extensive face hair) who have paired up to form the second team of ‘favorites’.

Last night’s first episode saw two couples (both long-time fans of the show) battle it out in designing a New York loft style apartment with Kyal (had to add that spelling to the dictionary) and wife Kara from New South Wales easily beating out Queensland miners Jesse and Kenny.

Both couples were given a budget of $10,000, a design brief including the Manhattan Loft style and just two days to turn two empty rooms into amazing living spaces at The Block HQ.  Throw in a plasterer named Igor that arrived 5 hours late, a smashed light shade, awesome use of pre-existing graffiti, Scotty Cam being a smarmy bugger and a contestant stealing (or paying for) flowers from a woman on her birthday and we finally have our first couple for the new season.

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MKR contestants Chloe and Kelly

Now it’s time to talk MKR.  I think the producers learnt a very valuable lesson last season – CASTING IS IMPORTANT AND EQUALS VIEWERS!  And casting of nasty contestants equals people talking about your show.

The ‘Well traveled friends’ from Western Australia Chloe and Kelly ensured we were all talking about them and mostly them.  The general consensus was that they should have been labelled as the ‘bitchy travel snobs’ from Western Australia.

I swear, if either of them say “I’m not here to make friends”….

The Block airs tonight on Channel 9 at 7:30pm

My Kitchen Rules on Channel 7 at 7:30pm

Kitchen Wins on Viewers

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My Kitchen Rules Series 2 winners Dan and Steph from QLD

Between a series final of My Kitchen Rules and a battle round of The Voice, it was no surprise to see that last nights television offering drew the most viewers to their television sets this year.

Last nights episode of The Voice saw the Battle Rounds continue on, with both Seal and Ricky Martin using their ‘save’ option to save two singers (Hannah Darling and Jazz crooner Emma Pask) from elimination leaving judge Delta Goodrem with the last save option.  The episode drew a massive 1.97 million viewers but was not strong enough to take down the might that was the My Kitchen Rules finale.

The finale which saw teams Dan and Steph and Jake and Elle, two QLD teams, battle it out in the kitchen in front of eliminated teams and friends and family, and eventually saw viewer favorites Dan and Steph take out the prize, drew the biggest audience so far this year with a massive 2.97 million viewers (Nationally, the program brought in 4.27 million viewers).

My Kitchen Rules is set to return next year for a fifth season (Advertising has already begun for teams to apply) while The Voice continues it’s Battle Rounds Sundays through Tuesdays on Channel 9.


QLD Showdown in MKR finale

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MKR contestants and finalists Dan and Steph Mulheron.

It will be a battle for the pride of QLD as two teams from the sunshine state will battle it out the kitchen for the My Kitchen Rules grand finale on Sunday night.

Favorites Dan and Steph Mulheron won their place in the final taking out Bondi boys and personal trainers Matt and Luke while siblings Jake and Elle Harrison had no troubles taking out father and son team of Mick and Matt Newell from Tasmania, beating them by 7 points in Wednesday nights cook-off.

While Dan and Steph may be viewer favorites, it’s brother and sister combo Jake and Elle who are firm favorites to win the finale, and if they do, it will make them the youngest contestants ever to win the show.

MKR has been riding a wave of praise and criticism for this season.  From like-able couples to bad editing to contestants who don’t eat half of the food chain to accidentally revealing results (Adelaide viewers were ‘accidentally’ shown an MKR advert that revealed Tasmanian father and son team Mick and Matt won Comeback Kitchen 40 minutes into the episode which was currently being aired)  and battled for viewers against rival talent show ‘The Voice’.

MKR’s grand final airs this Sunday Night on the Seven network.

Battle of the Talent Shows

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The Voice Judges – Seal, Joel Madden, Delta Goodrem and new judge, Ricky Martin

We all knew it was coming.  Channel 9’s smash singing talent show ‘The Voice‘ was, at some point, going to find itself up against channel 7’s popular cooking talent show ‘My Kitchen Rules‘ but the big question was, who was going to come out on top?

In a bid to nab extra ratings, the channel 7 cooking show was given an extra episode of ‘MKR‘ on a Sunday night time slot to battle against the return of ‘The Voice‘ on Channel 9 which was a ratings winner for the station and was last years most watched television show.  So who came out on top?

In it’s season two debut episode, ‘The Voice‘ was hard to beat.  Bringing in 1.8 million viewers compared to ‘MKR’s 1.4 million.  Seven had hoped their promotion of the Sunday night episode which saw previous ousted contestants battling it the kitchen for a chance to come back into the reality cooking show would bring in the numbers, but up against last years most watched show, it didn’t bring the viewers seven had hoped for.

Both shows however, continue to maintain very healthy ratings.

The Voice airs on the 9 network while My Kitchen Rules screens on the 7 network.