Category Archives: Recaps

The Face Australia: Episode 7 Recap

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Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  No, it’s a model flying through the air for a campaign shoot for the new Lexus CT 200h!

Starting off, Team Naomi are reveling in the fact that their weak link Brittaney is no more, making them once again the strongest of the two remaining teams.  They ‘feel bad’ that Britt is gone but don’t really mean it.  Bitches.

Team Cheyenne are..wait….who’s that chick?

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Yaya is that you?

I don’t remember seeing her before.  There’s Nikolina and NSFW Olivia and Yaya….where’s Yaya and her glorious head of blonde weave?

What?  That’s Yaya?

Her weave is now gone allowing us to “see her brain structure more” and leaving us with a completely different looking model. While NSFW Olivia and Nikolina both love the look they now see Yaya as a massive threat to them making the final.

So Georges – who’s still looking delish in all his salt and pepper wonderment,  talks to the girls and informs them they are the last six girls remaining – who knew? – before asking them who they think is their biggest threat in the competition.  There’s no head-scratching here, Sarah and Yaya are picked by most before NSFW Olivia chooses Nikolina.

Nikolina?

Yep.  I’d have chosen Nikolina too if the question were “who’s least likely to win”.

So this final test shoot challenge is all about acting, well portraying various emotions in-front of a camera and clearly Ruth already has ‘OMG’ and ‘NO WAY’ down…

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 As per the norm, Nicole Trunfio shows them all how it’s done..

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So after Nicole and Georges make magic together, it’s time for the girls to make emotions as called out by Nicole who also informs them all, she’ll also be reporting back to Cheyenne and Naomi about how they all perform.  They mess up, they act up, they behave like bitchy school girls….their mentors will be told!

Naturally, this sits well with ‘Unpleasant Chantal’..

Crap balls....
Crap balls….

So who does well?

Ruth should have had it won with her ‘cool’ emotion.  Her resulting photo screamed 90’s Calvin Klein.  Unfortunately though ‘OMG’ and ‘No way!’ were not emotions called out for Ruth.

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And during Ruth’s shoot, Georges lets all all know how to look sexy while taking photos “Say A, E, I, O, U under your breath” you know i’m going to try that next time!

NSFW Olivia was asked to be…well….NSFW, so of course, she rocked it.

wait...was this her cool or sexy emotion?
wait…was this her cool or sexy emotion?

Yaya was going through so many emotions I’m convinced there was a form of schizophrenia beginning to emerge.  She looked amazing doing it, and we get a first glimpse as to her potential now she’s weave-less..

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Who did not so good?  Ugh..Chantal.  Had Nicole yelled out “Unpleasant” as an emotion, then Chantal would have had this down to a tee.  I think Georges nailed it when he said “This is really bad Chantal, get angry!”  It’s ok Georges, i’m doing all the angry for both me and Chantal.

Nikolina.  Oh bless her cotton socks.  When asked to be ecstatic, all she could muster up was something akin to “i’m on a heavy flow, but because of my libra fleurs, I can ride a horse!”

And of course, the golden child, Sarah.  She underplayed almost every emotion.  Surprised became scared, confused became confusing which made Sarah confused about acting confused.

Now i’m confused.

So shock horror, NSFW Olivia wins the test shoot!

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Final campaign shoot time!  Now, I don’t blame any of the girls for being thrown for a curve ball here.  The way it’s explained, this campaign shoot will see the girls being suspended from a harness above the new Lexus CT 200h, where they will have 20 minutes to pose and get photographs.

In realty, the girls were going to be unexpectedly flung across the room at warp speed and ‘hope’ to finish out with a decent image of them posing mid-fling above the car.

This ain’t an easy one.

Before the shoot takes place, it’s time for Naomi and Cheyenne to check in with their teams and talk about Nicole’s notes she had taken earlier during the test shoot.  Now Brittaney’s no longer around, Naomi needs a new whipping horse and who better to take the role than Chantal.

She deserves it though.  She flatly throws out Nicole’s critiques and as being wrong but Naomi isn’t having any part of it “you’re not giving a full 100%.  You need to fix this or else you’re not going any further.”  It’s not the harshest we’ve seen Naomi, but it’s about time she decides to stop sweeping her stinking attitude under the carpet and deflecting to someone else.

Shoot time!  It’s fun to watch the girls experience the flinging bungee for the very first time.  Unsure of what exactly is going to happen, they quickly discover they have little to no control over what is happening to them.

Ruth has incredible trouble trying to remain feminine and glamorous while surging 300 miles an hour through the air.

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by the end…no one even really knows if she even managed to snag one usable shot.

Sarah looked amazing and had on this glorious black gown with thigh high split, she was zooming through the air giving ‘great posture’ but couldn’t match it with her dead face.

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Chantal decided the easiest approach to modelling while being thrown across the room was to point and go with a peter pan type pose.  Naomi is having none of it though…oh, I forgot to mention, Naomi has a whip.

Yes, a whip.

She’s gone from mourning mamma last week to dominatrix mamma this week.  Nicole at least seems to be impressed with Naomi’s newest accessory this week.

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Both Chantal and Sarah did manage to come out with a couple of shots to work with while we’re still unsure about Ruth.

That's not how you give the finger...
That’s not how you give the finger…

Time for Team Cheyenne to step in and take flight.  Yaya, with her newly visible brain structure (or haircut as its commonly known) is looking all space mod for her shoot.  Like previous attempts by Yaya to be graceful in the air (remember the trampoline test shoot?) Yaya is once again all legs askew and not doing too well.

Sir, yes sir!
Sir, yes sir!

By the end, she’s decided to go with a weird ‘forehead salute’ type of pose that sort of works well with her outfit.

NSFW Olivia.  Damn girl looks amazing.  I think she’s beginning to warm on me.  While she looks stunning, her dress is so full and voluminous it’s hiding her legs while she’s zooming through the air making her look like a legless floating beautiful ghost.

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Nikolina.  I’m still blessing her cotton socks.  She’s trying to be confident, trying to be the little train that could, but we’re not buying it and if anyone was going to injure themselves during the shoot, of course it’s going to be the girl who’s showing the most fear.

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I’m outta here!

Thankfully though the injury wasn’t that bad, but on the flip side, a scraped knee can hurt like a sonofabitch and after a few quick words of support from Cheyenne (you just know if this was Ruth, Naomi would be saying ‘nut up champ’) Nikolina gets back up and flies away.

Now it’s time to score each individual photo giving a total team score with the team with the lowest score hitting the elimination room.  Judging by the photos, Team Cheyenne should have this easily right?

No?

Ruth received an 8 for this…

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Either Yalande Waldock (the Lexus brand ambassador) is totally blind or I know crap all about campaign shoots. The score of 8 for Ruth’s photo was shocking in itself and see’s team Naomi win AGAIN and even Naomi is shocked with her win.

Considering NSFW Olivia won the campaign shoot for her individual photo, Yaya and Nikolina are headed to face Miss Whiplash in elimination.  The standard of previous eliminations has seen both girls fight it out verbally in front of either Naomi or Cheyenne before a decision is made, but this elimination….I didn’t think it was that boring, but according to Naomi, she’d much prefer to pick up a book and guzzle a glass of wine.

You think Yaya is impressed with that?  Nostrils flaring, steam beginning to explode out of her ears….if it was appropriate for the models to strike a judge, you just know Yaya would have laid the smackdown on Naomi – and she did, well sort of…

yaya ain't happy...
yaya ain’t happy…

She fought back against Naomi, even telling her that she’s talking a load of bull (well in nicer words) and eventually, Yaya’s bite back wins her victory.

Nikolina cries.  Naomi pretends to be upset.

So we now have our final five girls and what’s this?  Next week is the finale?  So soon?  Well next week sees an awkward presentation from Ruth, Naomi acting like a spoiled child who’s not being given enough attention, a photo shoot, a catwalk for a very well known designer and finally, a winner crowned!

My team?  Well Sarah’s my last standing member, but after seeing how NSFW Olivia performed today, i’m claiming her as an unofficial team Anthobuzz member!

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The Face Australia Episode 5 Recap

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If there’s anything that can describe how I felt by the end of this episode…this would be it

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But before I became all ragey and sprouting hot tears, we have to go back to the start of the episode.  Poor Anoushka is the sole surviving member of Team Nicole after Naomi sent Melise packing last week.

Team Cheyenne are feeling sorry for Noush, knowing that she has a lot of pressure on her to do well and avoid ending up in the elimination room.  They offer comfort to Noush before they all groan about how bad Team Naomi’s campaign photo was last week.

Team Naomi on the other hand are living it up playground style with group hand slaps and waves and cheering after still managing to keep every member of their team.  Sarah is happy her team is still together but you know…they’d be better off if Brittaney were to be booted off.

Test Shoot time!  This time, it’s all about the catwalk and more specifically, how quickly the girls can change backstage and head back onto the runway which, according to Chantal, backstage. there’s usually bras and knickers, hair and hairspray flying around (which is my usual Friday night).

The Queen of the Catwalk – Naomi Campbell is on hand for this test shoot and she brings with her, her friend (yes Naomi has a friend) fashion designer Gail Elliot.  They talk about how important it is to be on spot when doing catwalk and how time spent backstage changing outfits is one of the most important things in life.

In a perfect world, this would be how all girls change outfits
In a perfect world, this would be how all girls change outfits on the catwalk.

So Naomi is going to show us quickly she can do it right?

No?

She’s going to show us how to walk – even though the challenge is how quickly the girls can change backstage….The girls put on their best “oooooooh” faces as Naomi walks down the catwalk ‘lightly on her feet’…cue claps and cheers and time for the models to battle it out.

Who did well?  Short list this time.  Having only two minutes to complete the challenge, only two girls managed to strip, change and walk the walk within the allotted time.  Yaya does it in 1 Minute 25 seconds though there was an awkward end of catwalk moment where no one really knew what was going on…had she finished, had she not…

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Ruth is also the only girl to make the cut but missed Yaya’s time by 10 seconds.

Who did Bad?  Poor Anoushka…she managed to set a record…for the longest time backstage – 2:51 seconds (I think she was doing crunches back stage), Brittaney (who hit a time of 2:01 seconds mind you) still found herself being called out by Naomi (once again) for looking down while walking and generally, everyone managed to complete the challenge in around the 2:14 second mark.

Yaya wins the challenge (almost be default) then there’s industrial type shots of the pipes and worn bricks outside before we head back inside for the Campaign Challenge.

George lulls the girls into a false sense on wonderment letting them all know they’ll be doing a catwalk show (in front of 200 VIP’s) at the Sydney Opera House for red carpet and bridal designer Steven Khalil…and after screaming and clapping and Ruth’s agape mouth, he tells the girls that the catwalk includes walking down 50 stairs.

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clearly this is before finding out about the whole 50 stairs thing

The dresses are stunning and the girls all rightfully so fawn all over them.  Naomi pops into check on her team and makes it be known that YOU CANNOT TOUCH YOUR DRESS NO MATTER WHAT!

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Noush is noticing how much material is included with hers…and when doing the maths…she’s not that tall, big dress, lots of layers plus 50 stairs and she’s starts to have some rather nasty visions..

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Team Cheyenne give us screams and A LOT of ‘Oh my gawds” and Cheyenne tells the girls “strong face” but we all know that Olivia and her NSFW face is waiting to pop out.

It’s practice time and Naomi, not satisfied with Brittaney’s survival last week, decides to attack once again.  “I’m very upset” “Watch Sarah” “What’s with the shoulders?” “Brittaney that walk is not even a runway walk, it’s diabolical” “Oh Lord have mercy!” “We’re losing this one” “drink this cup of bleach”….etc etc

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Naomi is not happy with Brittaney?

We’re now at the SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE! and the girls continue with practicing their down-50-stairs-with-a-sheet-dress walk.  Naomi, who is still concerned with Brittaney asks how her practice is coming along.  Sarah responds by throwing Brittaney under a bus “she’s tripped a couple of times…” Sarah might as well have been driving that bus.

Cheyenne (and that dress with the boobs…lordy lordy lordy) goes through a few practice walks with her girls “you can even have a bit of a bounce” (are straight guys watching this show?) and if you look carefully, you will have seen Brittaney make a break from the Mean Girls team and quietly merge into Team Cheyenne’s calm and playful practice session.

THAT dress is back!
THAT dress is back!

Time for the catwalk.  Team Naomi is up first and Naomi points out “I’m with them every step they take” – well, except for Brittaney.

*Chantal is regal and beautiful (blergh) and finishes up with the classic Angelina at the 2012 Oscars leg out pose..

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I could say mean things about Chantal here…..

*Ruth walks down those steps very…..very….s l o w l y.  Is she going to fall?

No.

But she probably wished she did because shock horror….SHE PICKED UP HER DRESS!

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RUTH…you’re dead to Naomi now.

Mind you, while the girls are walking, we all get to learn that Naomi has amazing ventriloquist skills.  The amount of talking with immobile lips could see her easily take it up as a second career option.

*Sarah, of course Sarah was her usual amazing self.

*Brittaney…well my my my.  It’s amazing she wasn’t found hiding in a corner, curled up in the fetal positing crying about not wanting to deal with Naomi anymore.  Instead, girl sashays down that catwalk like she’s been doing it for 20 years and looks brillopads while doing it!  (yay!)

Team Cheyenne is up next with YaYa up first.

*YaYa looks amazing and confident and…what that?  She’s stopped?  Why she stopped for?  Why is she kicking her dress?

Her foot is caught in her dress.  My god, with all that dress touching and kicking, could you imagine if she had been on Team Naomi?

After one last good kick (and a failed attempt by Cheynne to remove the dress from the shoe) YaYa manages to finish off her walk nicely.

*Nikolina – Flawless

*Olivia – You knew it was going to happen….her NSFW face was out in full bloom, those lips were parted like Noah did the red sea…if only Cheyenne had managed to get that glue earlier….

Team Nicole is up last.  Our single and solely Noush in her big girl gown!

*Anoushka looked like Bambi learning to walk.  The dress was hitched up, there was a lean, there was fear in her eyes…girl was on a mission to “get out of that dress”.

Judging time….Well clearly Steven Khalil has great taste as Brittaney was one of his favorites (go Britt!).  He wasn’t a fan of YaYa or Olivia but liked Nikolina and he thought Noush was stunning but SHE TOUCHED HER DRESS.

So Team Naomi wins (again)

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Nicole’s posture says it all…

Noush is automatically up for elimination while we see Cheyenne start to play the game by putting up YaYa – her strongest girl – for elimination.  She makes up some bull  to attempt to justify to her team why YaYa is up instead of NSFW Olivia.

Judging Time.  Naomi plays it cool, pretending she’s still unsure about who she’s sending home.  She goes through the motions of finding out who wants it more, who’s got more drive but we all know Naomi is out to crush Team Nicole and that she does.

Noush is gone.

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Now, in these types of shows, it’s usually the models who fight between themselves..but clearly, this is unlike any other model competition show.

Team Naomi are wishing for Noush’s triumphant return.  Apparently they have completely missed the whole Naomi vs Nicole saga that’s been raging on for the past few weeks.

When YaYa enters victorious, Brittaney says what we were all thinking “Like seriously, what the fuck?”  Cheyenne quickly skips up to Naomi thanking her for saving YaYa before Naomi, who’s now on her high horse, explains (falsely) why she send Noush packing.

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Nicole’s still hoping that looks will kill

Nicole sits and takes it all in, knowing she no longer has a team thanks to (mostly Naomi) and we’re all sitting and watching screaming at the TV for Nicole to stand up and say “What the fuck Naomi?!”…and then she does!

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Keeping it classy, Nicole chooses her words wisely “Naomi, the way I feel about this, is i don’t agree with your decision – ” before Naomi cuts in, spews up about being an editor for a magazine – in Russia and in Germany – and that Noush would never be picked up by IMG in America.

Basically it’s all lies and Naomi just wanted to crush Nicole.

Then the two (or mainly Naomi) get into it (with Cheyenne even pushing Nicole into the pit of poison) over the decision before out of no where, Naomi spits out –

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So while Naomi is shoving her own head up her own ass about how amazing she is and how much above she is over Nicole, Cheynne sits and watches….

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And it’s here Nicole points out what this show is actually about… “It’s not about me, it’s not about you, this is about the girls.  This competition is about the girls”.

Bout time somebody told Naomi.

She’s still not listening though, as she’s still on her rant.  Always the lady, Nicole stands up, wishes the girls in the competition the best of luck” and walks out while Naomi continues on about how her decision was not based on bias.

Get your hand off it Naomi.

Next Week:  Damaged ankles, an unflattering dress and sunglasses no one would ever wear!

Oh, and how’s Team Anthobuzz going?

Goooooo Brittaney!

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Not so good…..At least Brittaney is still here!

Winners and Losers: Vodka Shots and Sexy Selfies

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Jen learns dating younger men can be more trouble than it’s worth

Starting an episode of Winners and Losers off with vodka shots can only lead to good things like icky sexual tension between Flynn (Tom Hobbs) and Sam (Katherine Hicks), a badly dressed random (Savers shopper anyone?) playing sexy eyes at Sophie (Melanie Vellejo) and Jen (Melissa Bergland) happily expressing just how much sex she’s having with her man-child fling.

So what happened to our favorite winners last night?

Frances/Zach/Jasmine/Jonathan: Frances (Virginia Gay) is beginning to find herself on the wrong end of a rather cranky Zach (Stephen Phillips).  Either Zach is on a rager of a heavy flow or his mood swings resulting from his stroke are really starting to kick in. Jonathan (Damien Bodie) finally tells Frances that back in the hospital, Zach went (for the better use of the word)  mental while Jonathan was throwing purses out of his mouth.  it’s here Jonathan comes up with the bright plan to include someone else into this really bad mix of injuries and mental anguish.

Frances decides to rope Doug (Tom Wren) into trying to get Zach to open up about his feelings post stroke, but he does so using beer and the offer of being his best man at his wedding.  Personally, I’d have brought a wheel of Brie and Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion on DVD to watch but each to their own….

There’s talk of a bucks night (no shaving cream or nudity please) which quickly turns into Doug asking if Zach can use a keyboard. This of course brings on Zach’s Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde persona resulting in Zach taking a fall and yeah….there was wee.

cue awkward pause

There was another cap to be used from this scene...but...you know...wee.
There was another cap to be used from this scene…but…you know…wee.

Zach finally explodes, literally blaming Frances for everything that’s happened to him.  Granted, Frances was the one who brought Shannon into the fold, but last time I checked, Shannon was the one stuffing an unconscious Zach into the boot of his car….case of misguided anger I’m guessing.

This anger continues on including an uncalled for verbal spray at Jasmine (PiaGrace Moon) before Frances and Zach have a decent heart to heart but we all can tell that Frances wants to get the heck out of there and go drinking with her friends.  Who’d blame her?

Flynn/Sophie/Sam:  Flynn and Sam have decided that to avoid the weird tension hanging thick in the air between them, they decide to go back to being friends – but the kind that eye each other off and get jealous when the other shows interest in someone else.  I would say to them “just get a room already” but..they’ve been there, done that.

Random shirt and tie guy tried his luck with Sophie, he’s got a cracker of a pick up line, “Excuse me, you wouldn’t happen to have any raisins?  No?  How about a date?”  How did she not throw him down on that table right then and there?

Minus the bad pick-up lines, surely this shirt nabs all the ladies...
Minus the bad pick-up lines, surely this shirt nabs all the ladies…

The two people struggling with their own romantic issues with each other (Flynn and Sam), offer sad and single Sophie some dating advice which was basically them calling her a frosty bitch who glares at everyone around her.  To prove she’s not a frosty bitch, Sophie decides to break out the iPad and download Tinder.  Well Winners and Losers version of Tinder.  This version allows her to list ten attributes she wants in a guy to which, after an hour of thinking, she only come up with two.   “Not ugly” and “Not stupid”.  I guess while she may be a frosty bitch, one could never claim Sophie to be a picky bitch….

So it’s been hours and Soph is still trawling the internet for men, Sam can’t decide what to have for dinner and Flynn wants to go out to a nice bar with some decent food and find some hot guys….ummm Flynn, I have a stocked wine rack, can cook a mean roast and well…I ain’t ugly looking….

Turns out, Flynn was talking about hot guys for Sophie.  Bugger. Sam takes this as an opportunity to get her girls out and pick out rather greasy looking guys for Soph to smile at.  Let’s face it, Sam is from the bush and has turned down Flynn…I don’t think she’s the best choice for boyfriend picking….

Sam and her girls go out for the night
Sam and her girls go out for the night

The night out turns a bit disastrous when the male version of Kelly from My Kitchen Rules begins hitting on Sam and her girls talking about his worldly travels to exotic locations.  Flynn is being attacked by a group of horny women on a hens night and Sophie picks up a DJ.  Yes, a DJ.  I wonder where bad pick-up line guy is….

Anyways, Sam and Flynn decide they can’t be friends without all the tension and decide avoiding each other is the wisest decision.  I guess getting all that inner rage out with a round of bed hopping is out of the question.

Bec/Ryan (Psych Doc guy):  Oh there’s Bec (Zoe Tuckwell-Smith), I think she was at the bar in the beginning…anyways she’s talking to Jasmine (PiaGrace Moon) about the school councilor who was made part-time.  With Dieter Brummer off riding his motorcycle and dolling out spliffs, she needs a project to keep her occupied and this sounds like the perfect distraction.

Bec doesn't know what auto-save is....
Bec doesn’t know what auto-save is….

I do keep forgetting about Bec lately.  She doesn’t have much going on right now, well except flirting with Ryan her ex psychologist and making lasagna and now this school counselor issue..oh and a baby that spends a lot of time on the floor….anyways, she’s decided, with the help of Ryan, to sort this school counselor issue out which includes some rather intense eye undressing (on Ryan’s behalf) and Bec realizing she has NO IDEA WHAT AUTO-SAVE IS!

Jen/Man-Child/Gross Family Members:  Jen and man-child are trying to find a place to have lie down kisses.  His place is no good and Jen has had enough of the back seat of the car (saucy minx) so to her bedroom (in her parents house) they go!

This causes all kinds of awkwardness at the ‘Haus of Gross’ the following morning as Jen (negligee and all) introduces her topless man-child to the Gross clan.  Her sister Bridget (Sarah Grace) eyes him off, mum Trish (Denise Scott) offers to cook him breakfast, Dad Brian (Francis Greenslade) basically asks “are you adult cuddle friends?” and brother Patrick (Jack Pearson) offers up the most normal reaction of “ewwww you’re my sister, you’re not supposed to be doing that”.

Off to the beach they go (does Jen work?) where she’s taken a sexy selfie in the change room…probably not the best of locations to take one, I hear there’s bad lighting in those rooms….man-child talks a lot about Jen meeting his parents and how cool it’s going to be and skateboards and playstation and OMGs.  

She’s starting to realize (not that he’s a child) that he’s wanting more out of this than she wants and makes the utterly heartbreaking decision to dump his man-child ass.  Of course this doesn’t sit well with the child who promptly sends out her sexy selfie to the entire internet.

Talk about your worst nightmare coming true!  Though snaps to Jen for having a crack at telling man-child to delete the image and everyone he sent it to.  I wonder if she realizes that age old saying “Once it hits the net, it’s out there forever!”

Winners and Losers airs Tuesday nights, Channel 7 at 8:30pm(ish)