Tag Archives: MKR

Channel 7, FRONT, Local TV, Made For Tv, MKR, Reality Television

The Queen of Seafood Dines with Jack Nicholson

Image

Am I the only one who feels we learnt a little bit too much about this QLD couple?  They have ‘stocks’, he does a crap Jack Nicholson impression, she’s wife number four, he likes calling her his ‘trophy wife’, it literally looks like a father smooching with his daughter when they kiss…

MKR kiss

 

He’s a shit golfer, oh and we have the same friends too.  Well friend.  Well a mate I haven’t seen in a few years, but pops up eating a lamb chop at a party hosted by David and Corinne.

The name of the instant restaurant – The Quarterdeck.  It’s fine dining with a nautical theme and not a single gold shovel in sight.

At least no one can claim these two are cheating – making their own bread, mayo AND butter!  Someone might want to tell Corinne that I’m pretty sure using store bought butter is ok.  Bread is a touchy subject at the moment, but butter is fine.

Then the whole ‘Queen of Seafood’ title comes under scrutiny when the crayfish for the entrée is raw and a lot of questions involving 12 minutes and boiling water start being asked before David decides to cook the crayfish for ‘an extra minutes’.  I’ll add that to my recipe book.

“And cook for an extra minutes”

So then everyone arrives and are promptly given sailor hats wear.  I’m thinking giving everyone a boat each might have worked better than the hats…but that said, the mood was chirpy, with everyone commenting on how wonderful ‘whatever is cooking’ smells, then suddenly, the realization that there’s no chairs for the mum’s or Harry and Christo falls over the group leading to a rather awkward ‘standing around the table’ scene along with some awkward smiling that happens when you’re not really sure what’s going on…

hats

Nothing says ‘awesome dinner party’ than a game of “Go and get your own chairs!”.

The Best Dish Of The Night: Bitch gang member Jess from WA describing the entree as a plop on a plate (but instead of a word, she used a noise).  Granted, the crayfish stack did look like an avocado pattie with a fish topping or a ‘pancake’ as Jess said.

The Food Overall:  It’s a shame David and Corinne spent so much time making their own butter, mayo and bread and perhaps spent a bit more time on the home-made pasta.  The bowl of seafood glug served for mains was a mass fail while the tropic eaten mess looked like individual pavs bought from Coles.

The Final Result: The Queen of Seafood sank.  Well the 2 hour wait between entree and main didn’t help their cause, especially when then two hour wait led to one of the worst mains ever seen in the competition.  David and Corinne’s instant kitchen puts them at the bottom of the ladder.

Up Next: The Sunday farmers market trawlers Tahlia and Bianca fend off Harry and Christo’s overt sexual advances while attempting to cook for everyone.

Channel 7, Channel 9, FRONT, Local TV, Made For Tv, MKR, The Block, TV

It’s a Lobster Massacre! Round 2 Begins on MKR!

Image
First Up: Uel and Shannon Massacre Lobster Tails.

So now it’s time for group two to present themselves to Australia and be judged on social media all while trying to cook for a bunch of strangers and a pair of celebrity chefs.  Sounds easy enough, and if all goes wrong, just do a Chloe and Kelly and blame the editing.

Who do we have in this new round?  From WA there’s friends Jess and Felix who are giving off an Aimee and Jason type of vibe, but while Jason would suck cheese out of a deodorant stick, I’m feeling Felix would be a little more refined….say replace the cheese with a meat pie perhaps.  From SA we have our first pairing of mum’s for the season – Bree and Jessica.  Sadly, these two are not as sassy and punchy like Angela and Melina from 2013.  They’re more the ‘I’ve popped three kids out, I’m tired, can’t be bothered to do my hair, is the washing done?’ kind of mums.

Harry and Christo from VIC.  Where to start?  Highly over confident and yeah…harry broke his neck recently so i’ll be nice….till it heals.  QLD are giving us David and Corinne, or as I shall be referring to them – Geoffrey and Brynne (think that says it all) The besties from TAS, Thalia and Bianca seem harmless enough.  They look like they’re 12 and laze about on Sundays at farmers markets…I hate them.  Lastly, and first up to cook are the NSW, newly-weds Uel and Shannelle who seem very much in love and won’t be prepared for what the MKR experience will do to their relationship.

Getting straight into it….

The Best Dish of the Night:  The new addition to the Chloe and Kelly bitch gang!  Jess proudly took hold of her welcoming badge, threw in a travel quote then bitched about no bones being in the lamb shank pie.  Yes, bitched about there being NO bones in the pie.  Who does that?  It seems Jess is the type of girl who’d suck bone marrow out of a deodorant stick.

The Food Overall: Yikes!  After completely obliterating the lobster tails for the entrée, the main of boneless lamb shank pie with pea mash had no flavour and just like Geoffrey – had no taste.  At least Manu lightened the mood with an added Sean Connery ‘Shank-You’ gag.  Desert looked like a winner…it had chocolate and marshmallows in it for crying out loud.  Just a shame it was basically a bowl of sugar with a biscuit base.

The Final Result: Uel and Shannelle were nice.  They were cute together in the kitchen, cute serving up the dishes, cute receiving the critiques but cute doesn’t give points.  Everyone scored them pretty mid range while the judges did the same – total score of 53.

Next Up: QLD’s Geoffrey and Brynne show us all what money can buy you (including a bride), there’ll be some uncomfortable kissing scenes and a few bum taps, while Jess cements her status within the bitch gang.

Channel 7, Channel 9, FRONT, Local TV, Made For Tv, MKR, The Block

Champagne Showers and Tradie Woes

Image
SA’s Deb and Rick sit safely on the leaderboard after their instant kitchen

Had things gone to plan for Deb and Rick’s instant kitchen, the married duo from SA would have nabbed perfect 10’s, taken top spot on the leader board and Manu would be hog-tied in the basement.  Well, there were no 10’s, no top spot and as far as I know, Manu is safe and sound speaking French and eating delicious French food while wearing a kicky beret.

In the kitchen, the well hyped Naughty Nana Deb, ended up being a seriously Frazzled Nana in the kitchen.  Too much mustard dressing on the entrée, over thinking the main and under-cooking the first batch of cake for the desert. Good thing super Rick was there to save the day.

Best Dish of the Night: Vikki’s champagne pouring skills.  It’s clear the VIC twin has not been fortunate enough to travel to exotic places like Chloe and Kelly, where champagne flows freely (and is well poured).  The amount of head that ended up in each glass resulted in a terrible froth vs bubbly ratio and i’m pretty sure Vikki had been swigging from the bottle as she must have thought Kelly was an empty glass and proceeded to spill champagne all over her.

Ooops_My_Kitchen_Rules_2014_Sn_7383124d349db25dd62ddad950f752a5

The Food Overall: Very home-style, family cooking.  Once again, there was nothing really complicated (though I couldn’t cook trout to save myself) and if you’re going to offer a trifle for desert, naming it after yourself should mean there is something unique about it – say maybe an eyebrow pencil in each glass?

The Final Result: Well Deb offered up a glimpse of her painted naked body to Manu – so she’s on a win for the night. Kelly ended up with a dress soaked in champagne – so we got a win too.  Most scores were pretty mid-range.  Think the two hour wait for Deb’s trifle resulted in some points being taken off.  Our saucy Nana and her savior hubby will safely continue on to the next round.

Next Up: Hopefully the ‘well traveled friends’ Chloe and Kelly are taking everyone to some glorious and fantastic location just so they can share some of the sights and tastes they have experienced in their privileged lives.  Oh, and there’s a cheating scandal too.  Shock horror!

Dale and Brad talk building options on The Block
Dale and Brad talk building options on The Block

As much as I [bagged] her out in my open letter, I really do feel for Chantelle and husband Steve.  This whole builder situation is even beginning to make me feel uneasy for them.  I could imagine nothing more worse than being two days in and still not have a builder secured for the job.

They had a builder, then they didn’t, then they had two and then they had none…oh and no plans either.  Seems builder number one went bye bye, not only with his chippie and sparky but also with the plans drawn up for the apartment.  Makes me wonder about these builders who first agree to do work with contestants and then back out.  It’s not like it’s some big surprise there’s going to be a crap load of work involved and a camera crew in your face.

But Chantelle and Steve aren’t the only one with tradie issues.  While Kyal and Kara seem pretty set to bang on without a builder (for now) they are in need of a sparky and when one arrives, this is what turns up…

The Mullet!
The Mullet!

I think Kara’s face said everything that we were all wanting to say.

I’m also noticing a lot more focus on the fan teams over the favorites.  I can’t really remember much about the boys and what they did and the girls…their plans for a floating staircase leading up to a floating office were ruined by Foreman Keith.  Something about lower beams and supports…sometimes all the building talk get’s too complicated for me.

Tuesday night’s episode is all about a shock surprise which puts all the contestants under a lot of stress.  We already know it’s the requirement of having the entire plans drafted within 24 hours.  I do think the editing department of the show really need to sit down and take a proper look at just what they’re showing us in future previews.

Channel 7, Channel 9, FRONT, MKR, Reality Television, The Block, TV

No City Views and Semolina Cake

Image
Team Favourites have their room critiqued.

So were we surprised who was the design replication challenge?  Well considering the editing department chose to show the twins Alisa and Lysandra taking note about ‘not having an apartment with city views…again’ in the Thursday night promo, I guess no one was really at all shocked to find out the Fans won the design replication challenge.

*The most interesting thing to happen in the first 10 minutes – Darren Palmer karate chopping a designer cushion and offering it up as professional styling (after an added side poke).

*I did like Dale’s interpretation of their brick wallpaper (which Clueless fans would automatically call a ‘Monet’) – Great from afar but horrible close-up.

*Thankfully, Chantelle’s very much talked about bright yellow Winnie The Pooh cushion was no where to be seen in the final result – or even mentioned at all. Funnily enough, I did happen to catch Kyal walking away with it when talking with Steve about the placement of a side table.

*Steve’s over-sized hipster beanie is now on par with Dale’s neck tattoo and face hair in terms of my level of hate.

*The use of “chim chineney chim chim cha-roo” while Steve was talking about his chimney cleaning job – Genius

So once again, the twins end up with the least desirable apartment to make over.  Can they make it two for two?  If they keep thinking their roof filled view from the rooftop entertaining area is “like the English countryside” then I’d say no….unless the English Countryside looks like Birmingham.

victwins_helena&vikki_72dpi

Well well well.  Didn’t these twins from Victoria just blow everyone out of the water with their instant kitchen, and by everyone, I mean Chloe and Kelly!  Fair to say, I doubt most would have expected much from the two, and they didn’t really get off to the best start.

Trying to find Hapuku (which sounds like a noise a street fighter character would make) left them running late, and it seemed they spent as much time getting ready as they did prepping the entree, but, these girls, scored three 10′s – oh and also managed to wipe any smirks Kelly and Chloe were sporting.  Seriously, someone needs to make a stack of gif’s of Kelly from tonight’s episode.

Best Dish of the Night?  The big hot bowl of ‘kiss my ass’ soup served to Chloe and Kelly.  The girls were ready for the VIC twins to fail and were ready to pounce on any slight mistake there was on the food.  Then they go and score the girls an 8 for their menu.

The Food Overall?  Didn’t seem too complex.  It was no de-boned quail and the entree was basically fish taco’s and Semolina cake sounds like some sort of medieval virus, but apparently tastes amazing.

The Final Result?  Kelly and Chloe scampered away with their tails between their legs.  Helena and Vikki celebrate by nabbing not only top spot on the leader-board but also equaling the highest ever instant restaurant score given on MKR.  So if according to Helena, they (the twins) have half a brain each, and scored three 10′s, I’m left wondering just how much brain Andrew and Emelia are sharing?

Next Up?  We’re off to South Australia where Deb gets her painted knockers out for Manu and hopefully rips out a rendition of ‘The Rose’ while sporting Bette Middler’s nose prosthetic used in Hocus Pocus and whipping up a batch of Deb Instant Mashed Potato.

tumblr_n05dwg9FW31s5uib5o3_500

Channel 7, FRONT, Local TV, MKR, Reality Television

Gee That’s Swell! MKR Mini Recap

Image
QLD Surfer Dads Paul & Blair Nab a Perfect 10

 

Continuing on with the ‘word of the day’ theme on MKR, last’s nights word was ‘swell’.  From the name of the instant restaurant to the quality of the food (well mainly the entree) to even Pete Evans throwing in a ‘swell’ reference to the QLD surfer dads entree.

The best dish of the night?  Easily Deb from SA.  Seems you get a few chardy’s into her and she turns into a highly sexual saucy minx who spent most of the night not only undressing Manu with her eyes but freely telling him so also. Her “Well, there was enough sauce for me, but I doubt there was enough for you” to Manu certainly made everyone turn the shade of a bloody beetroot.

The food overall?  Not too sure.  They speed at which NSW’s Jason inhaled his entree, main and especially the overtly rich desert, can only lead me to believe it was palatable (yet they – Annie and Jason – only delivered a score of 6)

The final result?  Seems Paul and Blair did well enough to secure themselves a spot in the second round.  They nabbed the first perfect 10 for their entree and set the mood for the night by offering up a range of local brewed beers and wines for everyone to down.

Next Up?  The first of the all female teams, twins Helena and Vikki from Victoria.  From the looks of it, there’ll be more spice and fire at the table than in the kitchen.

MKR returns Sunday night, 6:30pm on Channel 7.

Channel 7, Channel 9, FRONT, Local TV, Made For Tv, MKR, The Block, TV

Disaster in the Kitchen and The Block’s Terrible Mistake

Image
QLD couple Pascale and Chris

 

Well well well.  Is it just me or did The Block make a terrible error in pairing up it’s competing couples for the elimination rounds?  Clearly this was seen to be true after last night’s second round eliminations after QLD’s Pascale and Chris and VIC’s Chantelle and Steve finished their New York Loft styled rooms.

When compared to round one where QLD’s Jesse and Kenny lost to NSW’s Kyal and Kara, last night’s two reveal rooms were….well, the were meh.  Empty, boring and no imagination – to put it nicely.  And what blows my mind even more is that Pascale admitted to only using half of her $10,000 budget to finish the room!  While Chantelle and Steve easily beat out the QLD couple, had Jesse and Kenny been pitted against any of the two couples from last night, they would have made it through to the show – rightfully so.

I guess nothing can be done about it now, but yeah…a very bad decision there on whomever picked out the competing couples.

LR-MKR-729-20140128174637369486-620x349
Andrew and Emelia were not so awesome in the kitchen.

If show one’s word of the night was ‘Labne’ then last nights second outing of MKR showed that the word of the night was clearly ‘Awesome’ but not awesome is a positive way…well not for Andrew and Emelia.  They completely bombed in the kitchen last night, only able to just score above half of what Annie and Jason totaled on night one.

Is it possible that Andrew has some form of ADHD but has never been told he has it?  The guy gets completely trodden on by the judges for his main meal of ‘gourmet gumbo’ (two words never to be used together again!) then pops back into the kitchen only to break out a bad rendition of Devo’s ‘Whip It’ while completely curdling three batches of kirsch cream.

The only positive thing to note from the couples effort last night was their ability to take spotlight away from those nasty traveler girls Kelly and Chloe.  See, today, it was all about how much of a disaster Andrew was in the kitchen and not how bitchy Kelly and Chloe were.

 

Channel 7, Channel 9, FRONT, Local TV, MKR, Reality Television, The Block, TV

Cooking for Bitches and New York Style Lofts.

Image
Kyal and Kara will enter The Block Fans vs Favorites Season. © 2014 Nine Entertainment Co.

So it was an all new season of Channel 9’s The Block versus and all new season of Channel 7’s My Kitchen Rules last night and judging how twitter went last night, I think most people had the same idea as myself – Watch MKR and tape The Block as MKR easily raked it in last night with well over 1.6 million viewers compared to The Blocks 1.14 Million (It was even beaten by the return of Home and Away) but i’m assuming when The Block moves on from elimination rounds and into the real game, the ratings will alter.

Let’s talk The Block.  It’s a Fans vs Favorites season and we already know the hipster glasses wearing copper twins Alyssa and Lysandra are back for another round, this time along with the familiar faces of Brad and Dale (and Dales new hiddeous neck tattoo and extensive face hair) who have paired up to form the second team of ‘favorites’.

Last night’s first episode saw two couples (both long-time fans of the show) battle it out in designing a New York loft style apartment with Kyal (had to add that spelling to the dictionary) and wife Kara from New South Wales easily beating out Queensland miners Jesse and Kenny.

Both couples were given a budget of $10,000, a design brief including the Manhattan Loft style and just two days to turn two empty rooms into amazing living spaces at The Block HQ.  Throw in a plasterer named Igor that arrived 5 hours late, a smashed light shade, awesome use of pre-existing graffiti, Scotty Cam being a smarmy bugger and a contestant stealing (or paying for) flowers from a woman on her birthday and we finally have our first couple for the new season.

article-2543113-1AD7B84600000578-370_634x342
MKR contestants Chloe and Kelly

Now it’s time to talk MKR.  I think the producers learnt a very valuable lesson last season – CASTING IS IMPORTANT AND EQUALS VIEWERS!  And casting of nasty contestants equals people talking about your show.

The ‘Well traveled friends’ from Western Australia Chloe and Kelly ensured we were all talking about them and mostly them.  The general consensus was that they should have been labelled as the ‘bitchy travel snobs’ from Western Australia.

I swear, if either of them say “I’m not here to make friends”….

The Block airs tonight on Channel 9 at 7:30pm

My Kitchen Rules on Channel 7 at 7:30pm

FRONT, Local TV, MKR, The Voice

Battle of the Talent Shows

Image
The Voice Judges – Seal, Joel Madden, Delta Goodrem and new judge, Ricky Martin

We all knew it was coming.  Channel 9’s smash singing talent show ‘The Voice‘ was, at some point, going to find itself up against channel 7’s popular cooking talent show ‘My Kitchen Rules‘ but the big question was, who was going to come out on top?

In a bid to nab extra ratings, the channel 7 cooking show was given an extra episode of ‘MKR‘ on a Sunday night time slot to battle against the return of ‘The Voice‘ on Channel 9 which was a ratings winner for the station and was last years most watched television show.  So who came out on top?

In it’s season two debut episode, ‘The Voice‘ was hard to beat.  Bringing in 1.8 million viewers compared to ‘MKR’s 1.4 million.  Seven had hoped their promotion of the Sunday night episode which saw previous ousted contestants battling it the kitchen for a chance to come back into the reality cooking show would bring in the numbers, but up against last years most watched show, it didn’t bring the viewers seven had hoped for.

Both shows however, continue to maintain very healthy ratings.

The Voice airs on the 9 network while My Kitchen Rules screens on the 7 network.