Tag Archives: Round One

MKR Round One Look Back – Home Schooling, Fillers and Lúcuma

With the end of the first round of instant restaurants in MKR’s 10th anniversary season, the first thing that comes to mind is not the socially inept home-schooled brats who mask insolent and bullying antics as ‘telling the truth’ or the magnificent galah-inspired hair on Jodie-Anne or even what the heck Lúcuma is and how can I get it, but in fact a question to ponder….

Has Manu lost his touch with the ladies of MKR?

The usual episodic flooding-swoon of the female contestants as Manu enters the room was virtually non existent, with the minor exception of Jodie-Anne in episode one who earned a French Ooh là là wink. No nervous flirty giggles, no grown up food puns involving words like wobble or moist, no happily coupled women prepared to ditch their better half the moment Manu flashes a look their way.

This behavior has become so imbued in us over the course of ten years that no one flirting with Manu is actually quite glaring. Perhaps Manu will have double the amount of pre-menopausal flirting in round two?

Round one started off with recently engaged Stacey and Ash and their restaurant named “Staché” which is supposedly a mash on their merged names but really sounds like it’s missing the word ‘porn’ in front of it. The food is avocado based, right down to the desert (chocolate avocado mousse) and the only real drama in kitchen is just how small it is and how is Ash going to possibly cook 16 pieces of Salmon to perfection.

The reality of it all though is that this episode was our first introduction to reality TV gold, home-schooled brothers Josh and Austin, who managed to insult the table on numerous occasions right down to throwing in some casual racism followed by telling the table their first impressions.

Cut to words involving lesbian, gay best friend and mail order brides.

In the end, the entree was good, mains better, the avocado desert terrible. Total score of 73 out of 130.

Night two brought us to WA and siblings Amanda and Blake (who apparently has a hat fused to his head). Their “JerseyProudy Shore” restaurant offered up the first 10’s of the season with their pork belly mains but just as MKR had aimed for, Josh and Austin were the stars of the night.

Total score 96 out of 130

Night three…. well it was bad. Karito & Ian’s “Carnavalombia” restaurant was a complete failure with their Suspiro Limeño or slow cooked caramel with port infused meringue for desert which barely scraped a one from each of the judges. In true form, devil incarnates Josh and Austin were more than happy to point out failure after failure.

Total score 38 out of 130 – yikes.

Night four and we’re in QLD with flight attendants Chris and Lesley and their “Riviera Jet Set” first-class themed restaurant. There’s money in this house (whomever it may belong to), but not enough money to purchase a gas bottle that won’t run out halfway through cooking the rabbit mains. Lobster and herb tortellini scored tens from Pete and Manu while Josh and Austin scored Karito a minus ten for her effort the night before.

Total score 82 out of 130

Night five and Andy and Ruby are treating us to a cavalcade of Peruvian cooking in their restaurant “Pachamama”. They’ve been overtly vocal through the previous dinners about their abilities in the kitchen but you forget it all when Josh and Austin are edited into the scenes, shit stirring the worlds biggest pot of shit.

Turns out Ruby and Andy can ‘back it up’ and rip out course after course of delicious meals that even has the born again christian brothers singing their biblical praise. Tonight though is all about the lúcuma which I still have no idea what it really is, I just know it’s amazing and should be shared with the world. Perhaps lúcuma can end wars?

Total score 110 out of 130

Night six with Jodie-Anne and Mick and “Port and Weir”. I missed this episode thanks to a real estate agent who never showed for their pre-booked inspection but a quick search reveals the food was baaaaaaaaaaaaad. Something about liver and raspberry jelly? Did Mick and Jodie-Anne find Josh and Austin’s home-schooling lunch menu cook book in their hot little hands?

Total Score 45 out of 130

Speaking of, never one to scoot around appropriate topics of conversation at the dinner table, Josh brings up those who’ve had plastic surgery. Andy (or is it Ruby? I have no idea who is whom) admits to fillers and Botox (shock horror!) while Romel, he of the smoothest skins known to man, confesses that he is needle free.


Night seven and cheek piercing Ibby and smooth skinned Romel have to prove that Ibby has no advantage in the competition due to his owning a bunch of cafe’s and restaurants. Clearly they fail at that as the food is good. Like REALLY good. Like four 10’s from the judges good leading the teams to question the honesty of Ibby’s confession.

Their “Najah” restaurant actually served up an entree that was ripped right from Ibby’s Instagram page.

Total score 109 out of 130

Night eight. THE NIGHT. The one that this first part of the instant restaurant rounds have been building up to – Josh and Austin.


Their menu of chowder and bread, chicken lollipops and lemon domes is pretty basic and because they spend all their prep time on entree, their mains are four hours late. It doesn’t help their bunker kitchen is only designed to cater to three kidnapping victims at once so trying to cook for 16 was never going to work.

The chowder is so so, the chicken lollipops raw and the lemon domes their only saving grace. The table revels in delight.

Total score 31 out of 130.

So it’s Josh and Austin vs Karito & Ian in a battle to remain in the competition which will see both teams in Kitchen HQ cooking for the next round of Instant Restaurants!

My Kitchen Rules airs Sundays through Wednesday’s from 7pm